Empowering Leadership Be The Mentor You Wished For

Loren King 0:00

It’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s about who in this audience needs to hear what I have to say to make them feel like they’re not the only human being on this planet going through something. And it’s okay to talk about it on top of that.

Shawn Zajas 0:13

The future of dentistry belongs to the innovators. Welcome to Innovation in Dentistry. I’m your host, Shawn Zajas. And I believe that the future of dentistry is going to be unbelievably great over the next decade and two decades. But the question isn’t that. The question is, are you going to be part of what makes dentistry great?

Shawn Zajas 0:43

Okay, so today I could not be more excited to get to interview the one and only Loren King. If you don’t already know her, you would probably know her as Loren the Activist. And before I set you up for where we’re about to go, let me just welcome you and say thank you for letting me interview you today.

Loren King 1:03

Thank you for having me and trusting me to talk to me.

Shawn Zajas 1:09

So, Loren, innovation in dentistry can mean so many different things. And I’m not primarily talking at all about clinical innovation or technological innovation. I think all of those end up being the result of someone that just realized like, hey, why not me? Like, why can’t I step up? You know, why can’t I shed those limiting beliefs, those limiting mindsets and just bet on myself and say, hey, if I see a problem or if I see some sort of future, why can’t I step into that and just pioneer positive change? I’m super excited to have this conversation with you because I feel like if there’s one thing about you, though, the Loren King, it’s that you cannot be put in a box. You cannot conform. You are the most anti-conforming force, I feel like, in dentistry. Is this always just the way that you were?

Loren King 2:05

I would say yes. Anytime, even as a child. So my parents would tell me that they would take me to the doctor and the doctor would say that I have X, Y, and Z wrong with me, like illness, like the flu or something like that. And even as a young child, like 7, 8, 9, I would ask, why? Why is this happening? What does that mean? Or I would completely try and tell them what is wrong with me. And so I’ve kind of had that in me since a very, very young age. But also, I distinctly remember going through high school, going through college, going through early dentistry career of, this isn’t all that I’m going to do. And I know that because I’m already thinking that and I just started. But I need to do this because I, quote unquote, need to have a stable job that has a lot of money or at least enough money to survive. So I have to do this right now because I have to make something of myself. And this is how you do it. And what I learned eventually is that is so far from the truth, it’s not even funny. And I think there is a good way to go about it, to not end up homeless. But it takes a really long time to figure out why you’re on this planet, for what purpose.

Shawn Zajas 3:20

So you knew going into it, okay, early on, this isn’t something I’m going to be doing. When did an opportunity present itself along the journey of becoming a hygienist, where all of a sudden you’re like, okay, this is my moment. Opportunity meets my… I was already aware that there was going to be more. And now all of a sudden, this is my moment. What was that for you?

Loren King 3:44

For me, it was when I was a hygienist. This was probably year two of me becoming a hygienist or into my hygiene career. And I met Elijah Desmond on Facebook. Of course, everybody says that smile. I’m like, yep. And that man was like, you should try out for this or you should submit for this speaking contest. And I was like, okay. I already had in my mind that I wanted to do something of that nature. And I definitely believe that you attract what you want or even to the magnitude of it could be in your subconscious and you have no idea you’re attracting it, which is how I think this situation planned out because that was only in my head. So the fact that he was asking me that or telling me to do that was like, okay, this is where, this is it. This is where it might start. And, uh, it was, he had, uh, at the time he was doing 10 minutes for 50 contestants. There was hundreds that apply and they, they pick 50. And I was one of the 50 was not expecting even that to happen. And then, uh, 24 hours before I got on stage, I ripped up my speech and wanted to be authentic. Do not ever do that. Anyone listening to this? You, oh, let me tell you how authentic you will be. You will forget it all. So, uh, you’ll forget one word and you can literally watch the blood boiling from their feet up to their head of, whoa, what’s next? But that was it. That was the moment. And, uh, it was a train wreck, but I literally talked about AIDS in Africa and human trafficking. And I quoted Matthew McConaughey. I quoted Tupac all in 10 minutes. I didn’t give my audience a solution, which is the biggest mistake. I just said, here’s all these problems. Good luck. And, uh, people loved it. I have no idea why to this day. So I kept going.

Shawn Zajas 5:45

Well, I can tell you why it’s because when you communicate, you speak with such conviction. You’re not going to say something that’s not aligned to who you are. Some people are fine trying to fake it till they make it. I don’t even mean in like an exterior sense. I mean, like, in like a discovery of who I am kind of way, almost like we’re just, just modeling. I feel like you might’ve modeled like everybody did growing up as a kid, but you were ready just to be like, but this is who I am. And I’m still, I’m, I’m just going to discover more of who I am, but you were already on that journey probably like a decade or more before other people were. So that’s why when you do speak, there’s such alignment, there’s such strength and there’s such conviction that everyone that hears, it’s like, well, it’s not about the delivery. It’s not about the technique she’s using. Someone is saying something that is just, it resonates simply because it’s aligned. So yeah, it’s easy to honor you as someone that really is. True to who they are. Now, you mentioned already that you were speaking about something having to do with activism. Is, was that something that, I don’t know, was a passion of your heart even prior to hygiene? When, when did that develop in your, your story?

Loren King 7:00

I would say it’s, it’s been since probably high school, college time. I was definitely into things that most of the people I was surrounded by, we’re not into. And I was still doing all the other crazy things. I’m not a walking like beacon of hope or anything like that. I’ve, I’ve definitely swam the moat to get to the castle, but, uh, I, I was writing poetry and I was like researching history and I was having conversations with more adults than I was anyone my age. And what I learned along those conversations was I was willing to say things that other people were afraid to admit. And it wasn’t that I wanted to hurt anyone. It wasn’t that I wanted to embarrass anyone or shed light on things that are quote unquote, you know, dark and scary. It’s these things are going to exist no matter what, whether we talk about them or not, they’re never going to go away. And if anything, the flip side of that sword is it’s going to get worse because we’re just feeding. I’m never going to get caught. I’m never going to stop because nobody cares. I care. I will stand up in front of 300 people and make an ass out of myself. I care. And I feel like when your entire body and your energy and people around you are telling you that they appreciate what you’re doing, you get off stage, you’re like, I am freaking terrified and I’m shaking, but I’d go do it again, all over again. That’s something that you shouldn’t ignore. You absolutely can’t ignore it. But what I will tell you from personal experience, that wall, that you keep ignoring is going to get closer and closer to your face every single day. And eventually you’re going to be nose to nose with that wall. And then you’re going to have to do it. When the universe gives you something like that, there comes a point in time where you either think in totality or you make a huge pivot, but it’s going to come to a point where you’re, you’re going to have two choices and that’s going to be it.

Shawn Zajas 9:06

So was that your first opportunity to speak? Like meaning Elijah contacted you. Had you just been posting like on social little things here and there where you were kind of speaking? Like meaning where, like it’s very clear. Anyone that sees you, they know that you have a voice, you have a message and that, that voice needs to be heard. And it’s such an empowering message, Loren. But when did you like realize, oh my gosh, like this is who I am. I have a message. I need to share it with the world and just be completely unashamed and, and just being like, oh, not unashamed, unapologetic.

Loren King 9:41

Yeah, no, you, you said it correctly. It is unashamed and it is unapologetic. And, you know, there, there is an element of shame that comes with what I talk about. I, I primarily booked for human trafficking awareness. And in that story, I tell my story and there is an element of shame that comes with sexual assault. And it’s not necessarily that I’m ashamed of it. It is. I know anyone that I am speaking to can at some point in time, choose or not choose to shame me for what happened to me. I’m going to do it anyways, because it’s not about me. It’s about who I’m speaking to and the life that I need to save in the audience that I don’t know is even there. You could say one word and change someone’s entire life. And so for me, it was that first time I spoke. And no, I had never, never spoken in any capacity other than to myself, which I know makes me crazy. But I’ve been told, just don’t answer yourself. So my grandmother says, as long as you don’t answer yourself, you’re not crazy. Fortunately, I answer myself. Let’s just get that out there. But no, I was, I was being super active on Facebook. I was, I feel like that’s that wall that kept getting closer, right? I kept feeling the need to like speak to people that I had never met before in the dental industry. And I was like, I don’t want to just be an assistant. I don’t want to just be even then a hygienist. Like I want to teach. I want to help. I want to, if I see an error, I want to figure out how to make it more efficient. And for everyone, if I’m struggling at something or if something bad happens to me, I usually turn it into, let me make sure no one has to drive over this pothole. And so for me, that’s kind of how it started. started, but it was actually right after I got off stage. Uh, there was two scenarios. One was Dr. Emily Letran pulled me aside. She was the first person that pulled me to the side immediately. I didn’t know who she was. And, uh, I was like, Oh God, she’s about to rip me apart. Cause I knew she was a speaker. A very, very impressive one. I was like, here we go. Cue my first imposter syndrome. And so she goes, listen, I will teach you everything that I know, but you have to pick a topic. What’s the most relatable topic to you? Cause that’s typically the one that you’re going to most authentically speak about. And for me, I was like, well, I mean, yes, the crisis of AIDS in Africa is just the, the point that I made with that was how much it costs for them to get tested. And they only make around a hundred bucks a month. A test even for a man is $3. So if you only have X amount left to live, you know, it’s like, that was a huge problem to me and nobody knew it. And with human trafficking, I had done enough research at that point that I knew that a lot of human trafficking has, um, abuse like hand in hand with it and usually sexual abuse. And then someone learns they can make money off of you and that’s how it escalates. And so I looked at her, I was like, well, there’s a, there’s a part of me that happened to me that nobody knows. And I, I’m going to tell you, but I was sexually assaulted twice growing up. And I know that. A big element of speaking is being vulnerable because it’s not about you. People are going to use stuff against you, no matter what you do it anyways. And so she said, okay, there we go. That was conversation number one, where I was like, okay, this professional speaker is like basically wanting to make me her, her protege or whatever. She just, she saw something in me. And so that meant, that meant a lot to me. And the second part was someone in the audience came up to me and they started talking to me about how they were sexually assaulted. And that was the first time where I learned that a part of my job was going to be helping other human beings get through things that happened to them, even at a bare minimum, if that’s being a soundboard. And that’s when I knew I had to keep doing it. And I wanted to vomit after both of those conversations. And again, that was the first time I started learning. I can do this. I know that people are going to talk about me. I know some are going to be like, she has no idea what she’s doing. She sucks, whatever. It’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s about who in this audience needs to hear what I have to say to make them feel like they’re not the only human being on this planet going through something. And it’s okay to talk about it on top of that.

Shawn Zajas 14:04

Okay. So I’m glad that we didn’t do lots of pre-interview talking or planning. And just being honest, I didn’t research what your story was. And somehow I had no idea that it was going to go this powerful because I forgot that. Or I don’t know if I even knew that, Loren. So let me just right now honor you for the courage it took for you to actually just be open and honest about that.

Loren King 14:38

Thank you.

Shawn Zajas 14:39

Because there is such a stupid, stupid shame or stigma that tries to keep people like, oh, something bad happened to you. And there’s something wrong with you because of that. And now you need to almost like disassociate and you can’t own it publicly. Oh, no. Oh, my gosh, don’t do that. So then it just keeps perpetuating and it takes someone that’s willing to be like, you know what? Yeah, maybe I’ll get martyred. Maybe people will throw me under the bus. Maybe they’ll accuse me of all sorts of things. I don’t mind being misunderstood because the few people, which is not few, it’s actually many, multitudes of people that needed you to be courageous so you could lead them and break off the shame that’s over them. It is not their fault. It was not their fault. And, oh my gosh, Loren, that just speaks volumes to the power, to the presence, to the mission, to the calling that you have. And I just need to say right now, like, you need to keep doing it. I know you are, but I’m just saying I’m 100% behind you doing whatever you need to do to get that message out there because the world needs to hear it.

Loren King 15:48

Thank you. That means a lot to me. It really does. And I’m not going anywhere. I am pivoting. I saw another ball being dropped. And it was me being forced into a corner, basically, a very dark corner about a month and a half ago. And there’s no need to go into details, but a couple of things happened to me that were compounding and forced me into a corner of, okay, we’re done with this. And like I was talking about just a bit ago, the universe gives you two choices, sync and we’re done or pivot. And I mean, the planet starts spinning differently, pivot. And for me, what that looked like was, okay, what have I struggled with as a young adult female that I have overcome in my own way through trial and error, through not having a mentor, through you got to figure it out. No one’s coming to save you, period. I’ve learned that over and over and over again. There are people that have helped me so much throughout the way. But at the end of the day, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force it to drink. And water was given to me, but sometimes I would not fully drink what I needed to stay hydrated. That’s on me. That’s not on them. Their biochemistry and the neuroscience behind how they operate every day based on what has happened to them and living in their masculine and fighting the world, basically. And so for me, I’m right now rigorously going through all kinds of courses and training and mentors that are in this space of learning it backwards and forwards because I needed me a few years ago. I needed a mentor to get me to understand and teach me how to use my own energy and body and biochemistry and neuroscience of this is what your body’s good at. Stop fighting the world trying to be. You’re masculine. You’re not. It’s there’s actually a force to be reckoned with and being a soft female. And for me, though, where I needed the mentorship was someone to help me with past trauma, with relationships, with professional things of I keep going into positions that are not for for me. They’re safe. But that’s it. And I’m going to fight them over and over and over again. So stop fighting. Sit back. Sit in your softness and watch what comes to you. And with relationships, you know, it’s I I’ve gone through several of relationships, I’ll just be honest. And for me, I was the common denominator, right? So I eventually had to figure out, hey, lady, you’re the one that’s in all of these relationships. You’re the common denominator. What is causing that? It’s okay. What’s not okay is not acknowledging it as not holding accountability for ourselves. And with past trauma, the way that works in the female body is it actually literally like it, it alters your entire biochemistry. And it literally starts to control your subconscious, which is controlling your everyday decisions. And if you don’t acknowledge that, even if it’s just journaling and putting it down on paper, it’s controlling your life every single day, all your personal relationships, your romantic relationships, your professional relationships, all of it. And you eventually have to slow down. And hopefully, you know, when I get to this point, I can be that mentor for women that I needed and couldn’t find. I have trauma. I have relationship issues. I keep trying to go into a safe corporate job that it’s not working. And I am absolutely terrified of being the common denominator, even though now I know it’s okay. And I don’t know how to get to where I’m supposed to be. And for me, I watched out of like 600 videos, I watched 300 videos in a couple of days on this stuff. And it’s like, okay, well, the reason you had enough time to do that is because you weren’t working. And you had also just gone through a breakup. And it happened in the same week. And you were forced into a very dark corner of what do I want to fill my time with right now because I can’t go work. And that’s how this emerged. I finally had time to literally sit there and be like, okay, what am I obsessed with? Because I feel like as an entrepreneur, a level of obsession is required. And if you’re not obsessed with it, you’ll still do it. But you’re not going to make a business out of it. You’re not really going to make the big wave that you’re hoping and then in my scenario, it would be replacing my income. And So I think watching 300 videos of neuroscience and biochemistry of women is a little obsessive, even a little crazy. I was like, this is what it is. And the more I started researching, it just it came down to I needed me years ago. And so I’m going to study, study, study for the next couple of months become as great as I can learning it backwards and forwards. But honestly, I’m sharing it as I learn, because I need to be doing this yesterday. There’s women that needed me yesterday. I needed me yesterday. So the faster I can get out there, the faster I can start putting this content out, the better. And I’m super excited about it. I am still going to be speaking about human trafficking every single time. I’m still talking about airway health. Both are huge problems that are killing millions of people. But am I obsessed with both? No, because it takes a piece out of me every time I talk about it, because of my own personal experiences. Not necessarily with airway health, even though I do have full blown sleep apnea. But if I were obsessed with it, I would have already made a very profitable business out of it. And I have it. And I have to acknowledge that so that I can actually go do what I’m supposed to do and still help people over here, but really make a wave and actually help other women, other humans pivot. And that requires me admitting that. So I just, I’m super excited. And it’s, it’s humans like you. That create platforms like this that allow us to talk and help other people not feel so alone.

Shawn Zajas 22:20

Okay. So, Loren, I wish I could have taken some notes. I’m going to try my best to somehow weave together everything you just shared. Because A, it was just brilliant. B, like, as an entrepreneur, it’s challenging. Like, you are a pioneer. And as a pioneer, there isn’t a proven journey, map, way to go. And no one can tell you that. And the unfortunate thing is a lot of pioneers, they suffer lots of casualties because they’re on the front lines. And the arrows are getting shot their way. You know, they’re falling into certain pitfalls that maybe someone, you know, like, you don’t know because you’re the one on the front line. So I can imagine you’ve gone through a lot. It’s simply trying to gain the ground that you’ve gained. And what I always tell people is a lot of times we want to hit delete on those really shitty moments, those traumas, those tragedies. And yet that’s actually where the gold is. That’s the gold when all of a sudden you look back and you’re like, oh, my gosh, I maybe I wouldn’t have signed up for this again. Maybe like, oh, my gosh, I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to have to go through what I went through. But I have I’m resilient. I survived. I made it. And I’m going to overcome. And because of the generosity of spirit that you have, because of the courage that you have, you are going to take everything that you’ve learned and package it in a way that it brings life to those that need the message that you have. I don’t know if you’ve read the book, Steal Like an Artist.

Loren King 24:06

I haven’t yet. I’ve been told twice, so I need to read it at that point.

Shawn Zajas 24:12

One of the main things that Austin Kleon says in that book is, for everything, write the book that you wish you could read. Like, start the YouTube channel that you wish you could, like, that you would enjoy checking out. Like you just said, almost like, be the change that you want to see. You know you needed Loren five years ago. The Loren of today would have absolutely liberated, helped out, created more of a shortcut, a safer place for, the Loren of five years ago, to be able to be like, ah, okay. That perspective. Absolutely. Absolutely. And that’s where it’s like, thank you for not giving up. Thank you for not even running from that tension that was difficult. You know, the sacrifices that you had to make that nobody knows about, Loren. The times that you didn’t want to get out of bed. Yep. And you continued to press on. I just want to acknowledge you and say, like, thank you so much. Like, seriously, thank you. Because the value that you’re going to, the difference that you’re making that you’ve already made, but like, thank you for not giving up and pressing into it and saying, okay, I don’t fit in that box. I keep, people keep trying to control and I keep looking for the safety. And the reality is your heart was meant to come alive on the front lines when you’re in that journey and that craziness that can’t be defined. You are an entrepreneur and just owning that and realizing, okay, look, this is who I am. It’s messy. Like for anyone that wants to try to walk the road that you’re walking. Oh God. Okay. So do you, do you want completely, complete uncertainty? Yeah, basically. The craziness, but yet I feel like this is what you were meant for. And just like that coal, that crazy under pressure, submitting to that pressure, all of a sudden, instead of still just becoming coal, turns into that diamond. That, that is you. That’s like, that’s the story of your life. Right now is your light is just going to continue to shine, uh, brighter and brighter. So, oh my gosh, sorry, Loren, you’re just, you’re so inspiring.

Loren King 26:22

Oh, I, I, I love what you’re doing right now. I think it’s extremely important. It’s, it’s almost like the, the interviews that I’ve seen you do so far. It’s like people are, uh, you’re pulling things out of people to help create blueprints for other humans. And it’s very knowledgeable. It’s very, I mean, you, you ask the right questions, you’re creating enough space for people to feel like they can have these conversations and be vulnerable and actually say, Hey, these are the potholes as you’re going along this journey. If you want to do what I’m doing, if you want to do what I’m trying to innovate, this is what you’re going to experience along the way. Not saying don’t do it. I’m saying, let’s not have to go through four tires in a year. If we can avoid all the potholes and put that money somewhere else. Let’s put four tires a year on someone else’s tires or someone else’s cars. You know, it’s like, but exactly like you just said, if the mentor that you need doesn’t exist, become the mentor. And that’s what this is about right now.

Shawn Zajas 27:28

And I know even between the lines, between what we’re saying, you know, the listeners are able to be like, man, that’s that gnawing thought or that gnawing dream that I just keep pushing down or trying to say no to because maybe I’m scared. Like, to be honest, I wonder where I could have been, where I’d be right now if I didn’t play it small. If I didn’t, because I did, I started really, I don’t know, 10 years ago, second guessing. I talked myself out of stepping up and doing a YouTube channel or even this podcast. I think I, I thought about it maybe a year and a half ago and I just waited. And it’s like, what am I waiting for? Some reassurance? There is none. There’s no reassurance. It’s not coming. And the sooner I realized there’s no reassurance, there’s no guarantees, and the safest place is actually not on the sideline. The safest place is me going 100% full speed into who I’m called to be, the dreams of my heart, the things that just come alive when I give myself permission to be, and the scariness of trying to grapple with that freedom.

Loren King 28:41

Absolutely. It is quite literally. Oh, God. It is quite literally.

Loren King 28:46

And I would say, if it’s not terrifying, you’re probably, you haven’t found it yet. It’s not supposed to be easy. And I’ll also say this. A lot of times people will talk themselves out of things because they’re like, well, somebody’s already doing it. Okay. Valid. That’s probably true. But you have not done it yet. That’s why it needs to be done. You have not done it. Do it. No one’s coming. No one, if anything, it’s going to be polar opposite. They’re going to tell you you’ve lost your mind. And that’s background noise. You have to continue to let it be background noise or it will completely consume you and you’ll quit. But if you’re not terrified, you probably haven’t found it yet. And if anything, it’s going to feel like you’re fighting the world along the way because it’s absolutely terrifying. That’s good.

Shawn Zajas 29:35

So there’s some people I ask about, you know, the dark night of the soul, you know, and their journey when they hit a moment where… They weren’t sure it was going to work or they were terrified to get out of bed. And it seems like you just went through something crazy. Did you just say it was a month and a half ago?

Loren King 29:50

A month and a half ago. Yeah, nobody knew. I kept it completely lock and key of, all right, this is like, this is it. You know, like I, this is literally like I lost a relationship and I lost my job in the same, within two days of each other. And I was in a brand new city and I knew no one. So it was, okay, ma’am, this is it. Like you have, you literally have to pivot or you’re going to sink. It is that serious. So you can’t work right now. You have no one that you need to pay attention to right now because you don’t know anybody. And you have to entertain yourself until all of this comes to fruition. So what is that?

Loren King 30:34

And that’s how I found a random Instagram page. He’s amazing. It’s called Kismet. He is literally a relationship coach for women, but he bases it all off science. And that is always how my brain has worked as well. I always want to know the science behind things because I’m a control freak. And I want to know that this is actually what I’m supposed to do. And so I watched, he has like over 600 something videos out right now. And I watched 300 of them within a couple of days. And that’s what I was speaking to. Um, I think this is what you’re obsessed with, uh, just a little bit.

Loren King 31:14

So like, let’s lean into this and see if there’s a need for this. And what I found is women all over the world have no idea that they’re walking around fighting the entire planet because they’re terrified. And they don’t understand that their biochemistry is malleable. It is not your, your like sentence. It’s not, you can change it. Don’t let it limit you. It’s malleable. It’s changeable.

Shawn Zajas 31:40

Wow. Okay. So if your life was a book, I don’t know if we should do this for, so for either a year or for five years, what’s the chapter called for the next year or, or five years, whichever one’s easier for you to answer.

Loren King 31:57

I would say for the next year. And I feel like the title of the chapter would be, I think it would be what I said earlier. If the mentor doesn’t exist, become the mentor. And this is what it looks like. This is how hard it is to become the mentor that you needed because people don’t talk about that part. You have to learn. You have to become the expert. If you want to help other people, you have to be ready to be there for them.

Loren King 32:26

You have to have that level of obsession of, I will answer your phone call at two o’clock in the morning. If a woman called me, actually a woman did call me earlier last week, and I hadn’t spoken to her in eight years. And she saw one of the videos that I’ve been putting out about your softness and being in your feminine energy. And, you know, I’m not going to tell her story because it’s private, but she came to me because of that video. And it was random. I didn’t even know the number, but I answered it. And it kind of cut out and I called her back. And it was a huge moment for me of, I could do this all day long. I could talk to this woman all day long. If she called me at two o’clock in the morning, I’d answer the phone.

Loren King 33:07

If someone called me to go do hygiene tomorrow at two o’clock in the morning, you’re not going to get me, period. No. If someone asked me to, you know, even down to speaking, it’s still that level of obsession is not there. And for me, it’s personal. It’s more of the, like I said, it takes peace out of me every time I talk about human trafficking. It doesn’t mean I won’t do it. It just means I can’t make a career out of it. I know that. But anytime someone wants me to come do it, I will come do it.

Loren King 33:33

But that level of obsession has to be there. And becoming that mentor that you need is hard. That means I, again, I’m not going to know the potholes that are there. I have to run over them. And that’s okay. I’m willing to do that.

Shawn Zajas 33:48

So, Loren, getting to where you got to today with everything that you’ve learned, what was like, I don’t know, a really significant either belief set or mindset that you actually just had to shed in order for you to be here.

Loren King 34:01

You have to let go of the fact that you do not know the outcome. There’s just no way for you to know the outcome of anything. That’s a diet that’s supposed to make you look like this ring light that’s behind my phone right now. It’s supposed to make me look like I slept for the last 10 days. And I haven’t. So, you know, false advertisement. No, it’s fine. But, you know, you can’t. There’s going to be things in life that you cannot know the outcome. You cannot actually prepare for. You can try. But you have to let go of that because, like you said, like we were talking about, nobody’s coming.

Loren King 34:38

And there’s not going to be this, like, beam of light. This is what you should be doing. It’s probably going to be one of the darkest rooms you’ve ever sat in. And what you can’t realize yet is you are that light in a very dark room. So, yes, you’re going to feel that negative energy, like it’s literally consuming you. But if we remove the light, which is you from that dark room, we remove light for everybody in that room. Sit in the room. Sit in the uncomfortable part. To me, it’s the hardest part. But that’s usually where people quit. People usually don’t make it that far. Do not quit.

Loren King 35:16

It’s usually right on the other side. You’re usually right there, literally like a little sliver of concrete. And you finally got through to that castle and you’ve been swimming the moat the whole time. Don’t stop. As soon as you feel like you’re supposed to stop, as soon as you feel like you’re about to be sitting on this couch like I was a month and a half ago, like, what have I done? That’s when you need to keep going. That’s when something actually changes your life. And that means you’re about to change a whole lot of other lives along the way if you do not stop.

Loren King 35:45

People need you. People forget that. Everyone is important. Everyone needs to be here. Everyone can help. You just got to keep going.

Shawn Zajas 35:52

Okay, sorry. That was like, I feel like you were like ministering to me as you’re saying that because I’m like, there’s so many times where I feel, I feel so close to breaking through in a certain area. And instead, I somehow, because I have the ability to, I opt out and I choose comfort and I end up delaying significance and meaning and fulfillment simply because I choose momentary comfort. And it’s like, I’m so tired of that. I just want to embrace the tension, stay fine, being uncomfortable in what’s uncomfortable.

Loren King 36:31

You just said it. You said the exact thing. The quicker you become comfortable being uncomfortable, the faster you’ll get to where you feel like you need to be. You have to get comfortable and you may never get comfortable. I don’t know. I am not on the other side of this. I am not sitting in front of someone famous talking about any of this stuff. To me, that’s when I have something that I can actually speak to the entire world, that is when I will sleep. That’s when I’ll stop. For me, that’s what it looks like. And I’m not there yet. I don’t know if it ever happens. I don’t. I could be uncomfortable the rest of my life. But what I can tell you is it took me 32 years to find what I’m okay being uncomfortable with the rest of my life. And that’s being the mentor for women that I needed and couldn’t find.

Shawn Zajas 37:19

Wow. You know, the way that I see things, you know, a lot of people talk about the abundance mindset and I love it. But the way that it actually lands for me is that, like, for example, in dentistry, I always tell people, it’s even in the kind of intro to the show, is that I believe dentistry is going to be great in 10 years. My question is, like, are you, like the listener, are you going to be part of what makes it great? And it’s like I look to the left and the right of me, and there’s this line of people that are advancing the industry in whatever way they’re doing it. And I see amazing people. I see Elijah. I see Loren. But there’s all these spots that are still open where someone’s still on the sideline. They’re still second guessing. They’re still wondering if it’s going to be okay. They’re still hoping that they can get some sort of guarantee or certainty that doesn’t exist. And they’re somehow okay still with that whole, well, I’m safe right here. And it’s like, I always love busting that open. There is no safety. There’s no safety in staying put. And if there’s no safety, if it’s not safer staying put or being in the game, then just get in the game. Because that’s the only place you’re going to find fulfillment. And I want everyone to shine the light that only they can. And I know, Loren, you are meant to help women be able to be empowered, be liberated, get whole so they can shine even brighter. So if someone’s like listening and they’re like, oh my God, I need to contact Loren. I want to work with her. I want to reach out to her. Where do you want them to go?

Loren King 38:50

So the platform is going to be based primarily on Instagram. And there will eventually be a link tree in there where you’re going to be able to book time with me. It’s going to be a magnitude of things. And I have coaches have coaches, just so you know now. And I love the ones that I’ve been talking to. And one of them is Karan. He’s in the dental industry. He’s the retreat guy there. I am going to be working with him trying to create a retreat for women too. But it will be based on Instagram. And I feel like for me, I found my coaches outside of Karan. I met him in the industry. I found all of them on Instagram. And I feel like it’s this great platform that really, really, really can get access out. So for now, you can DM me and I will absolutely schedule time with you. This is definitely the one job I would do for free. It’s just unfortunately, I would not be here to help as many women as I need to.

Loren King 39:48

If I always do this for free, I can’t do that. So in the meantime, yes, you can DM me. My Instagram handle is LorenTheActivist, L-O-R-E-N. It is a completely public profile. So you don’t have to request or anything like that. Just go ahead and DM me. Lay it all out there. I am a vault. It will never leave the two of us. And even if you don’t want me to respond, even it’s just, I need another human being to know what I’m going through. I’m there. I’ll there. You’ll see the little green light and you’ll see that I’ve seen it. But let me know if you want me to respond or not. If you do, I’m here. Always here.

Shawn Zajas 40:28

So, Loren, do you know what’s coming now? The question?

Loren King 40:31

What? Why’d you have to take a sip of water before you ask me? I’m like, what?

Shawn Zajas 40:40

So, like, in the current place that you’re at, with everything that you’ve come to know, if you’re walking down the street and you see 17, 18-year-old Loren, and you know you just have one brief moment to communicate a sentiment to her, what do you say to her?

Loren King 40:59

That was a rough time, that specific age. I would definitely tell her, you’re going to survive. You’re not going to drown. You’re going to survive. Keep going. And definitely people need you. Doesn’t feel like they do. People need you. Keep going.

Shawn Zajas 41:23

Well, if that is one of our listeners right now that needs to hear that, there you go. Like, Loren and I are both rooting for you. We want to assure you that, yeah, there’s not some reassurance that you’re not going to fall on your face, but you’re going to survive. You’re going to make it. And we are in your corner cheering you on so that you can step up and step out. Loren, it has been an absolute privilege of mine to be able to interview you today. And it’s been so easy acknowledging you as an innovator, as someone that just has such courage, such strength of conviction, such resilience. And I love, love, love, love your message. Thank you. I just want you to know, I am behind you in what you’re doing. Any way you need any help, please let me know. And thank you so much for letting me interview you today.

Loren King 42:15

Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. Any human you can have in your corner is something that I will always, always, always encompass and try and be there, you know, for anyone. But I love what you’re doing. I love the platform you’re creating. I think it’s going to really help people feel like they can do this. They can literally innovate in dentistry or whatever they want to innovate in. And this is what it might look like. This is how hard it might be. So that’s okay. You have a whole team behind you that’s already done it. Like, listen to us, listen and watch how we fell on our faces. But that’s what band-aids and antibiotic ointment are for. You get up, even with bandages on your face, you get up and you’re doing that. You’re helping people do that.

Shawn Zajas 43:02

Thank you, Loren.

Loren King 43:03

You’re welcome.

Shawn Zajas 43:06

Thanks for listening and be sure to follow so you never miss an episode. To learn more about what’s going on in dentistry, check out innovationindentistry.com.